I’ve noticed that most people who talk about being passive aggressive are usually talking about someone else or their joking about it. I suppose that just talking about someone else being passive aggressive is really a passive aggressive way with dealing with him or her.
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Here’s a quiz I made up to tell if you have some passive aggressive tendencies:
- Do you offer a criticism or talk about a serious topic and then immediately follow up with something funny to lighten the mood?
- Do you find yourself pretending to listen only waiting for the person talking to finish or the meeting to end?
- Do you use humor or an abrasive attitude to avoid talking about your personal life or feelings?
- When you are receiving criticism, are you looking for the quickest way out of the conversation instead of dealing with an issue head on?
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These are just a few examples of what passive aggressive behavior looks like in a leader’s life. If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions above, you might have some passive aggressive tendencies to examine.
To be honest, I am no stranger to the desire to keep people happy and when presented with a serious topic it is only by discipline that I go after the issue head on. I too have been in meetings when I’ve kept my mouth shut to avoid ‘rocking the boat’.
Leaders lead, and that means sometimes we have to lead the way into conflict and serious topics instead of avoiding them. Conflict isn’t fun, but when dealt with the right way is usually healthy. Dealing with tough topics is something we see more of as our leadership capacity increases. Getting rid of passive aggressive tendencies is a part of every leader’s growth and maturity.
